New Baby Surprise

“Because Nobody Warned You About the Splash Zone…”

Introducing the most honest baby card ever made – where the miracle of life comes with a 3D golden shower! When opened, this cheeky pop-up reveals an adorable baby mid-arc, because if you’re not laughing, you’re crying (and you’ll be doing plenty of both).

Why Soon-to-Be Sleep-Deprived Parents Need This:

✔ Pop-Up Surprise: Features a gleeful baby and rocking horse… with special effects
✔ Therapeutic Humour: For parents who know “bundle of joy” is corporate propaganda
✔ Premium Quality: High gloss cardstock for easy cleanup.

Suggested Inside Vow:
“May your reflexes be quick, your washing machine strong, and your sense of humor… well, you’re fucked. Congrats! 💦”

Perfect For:

• Gender reveal parties that need actual surprises

• Dad-to-be who still thinks babies just “sleep a lot”

• Mommy friends who post “real talk” parenting memes

Warning:
May offend:
☑ Your mother-in-law
☑ Pediatricians
☑ Anyone who used the phrase “sleep when the baby sleeps”

🚼 Order Now – Birth Plans Are Bullshit Anyway